Hello... from this side!

I can't believe i've found this again.

I started this page SIX YEARS AGO...

...SIX! YEARS!

 How amazingly incredible to be able to peep into my past. Although having said that I feel compelled to tell you I don't have the gall to look. I skimmed through a few old posts, but I can't stomach reading about 17 year old me and my pain and torture and broken hearts.

Geez... I mean, get a grip.

I now feel like I have grown into a mature and sophisticated woman. I have a job! I have a flat! I have a licence (no car yet...but we are getting there), but mostly, I am proud to tell 17 year old me that I have found myself a man.

I have blossomed into a mature, sophisticated, high flying, flat owning, man having, kick-ass, career woman!

Who... er... incidentally just spent the last night sleeping alone in her childhood bed with a Sophie Kinsella book after the 500th bloody row of the year.

Maybe not so much has changed after all...

Halfway through writing this, I mustered up the courage to go through the unpublished section of this blog, thinking it takes the edge off if I haven't shown these posts to anyone yet.

God almighty it did not.

Although there are a fair share of embarrassing bold statements undoubtedly made in a moment of unwavering strength and courage enforced by my speedy typing, I can still see little old me peeping through.

Here is one rant I almost posted about it not being summer yet... (I think that was my point)

'And although I'm sitting in my yard having my evening smoke (I still do that!! The noun yard in this situation pronounced: Balcony) and shivering because its not actually summer yet, I wonder what this summer holds. Not just for me, but for everyone; summer is everyone's realm of possibilities. Its the place people go to when they want to dream. When you think of paradise, its never a rainy February day. (It was a rainy February day today. Coincidence?) Everyone hates those, getting your shoes wet and running around with soggy socks all day and having rain hair. (Still me!! Still me!!) Its not the ideal. To say the least.'

Im still not sure what my point was, and I think I figured that out for myself, especially since I go on about saying how much of a party summer is here and how drunken we all get.(Gosh... I do love 17 year old me)

Maybe I haven't changed so much after all... Maybe I am not done with being a reckless, dramatic, moody 17 year old yet... God knows I still try and fit in to the shorts!

-N.H x